My Black Seinfeld Mets hat has lasted a week. My wife has a habit of taking my hats, then losing them. It drives me insane. I had a batting practice hat last season that I kept on asking her to not wear it, to not wear it, to not wear it. She kept on ignoring me and kept on putting it on and I'd find it all over the apartment. In the bathroom. Behind the couch. Under the table. Next to the bed. It was driving me nuts. Then one day, I couldn't find it. I've been looking for it for it since the last month of last baseball season. I think it's gone for good.
Then I got the Seinfeld hat at the game last week. It has the Seinfeld logo on the back. It's not an authentic one. It doesn't look like an authentic hat one bit - but it's a Mets hat and it's mine.
So I asked my wife to not wear my hat, not wear my hat, not wear my hat.
So I came home the other day to find she took my hat again. This time she left it next to the bathtub. Where it got soaked with water.
I had to explain to her again to not wear my hat. To not wear my hat. To not wear my hat. I went as far as to put a big note in my hat that she would have to physically remove before putting it on that asked her to put my hat down and not wear it.
So my Mets hat is still there. For now.
Tonight, I came home and found my other hat tucked between the cushions of the couch. This was another favorite hat of mine that I recently found while I was on another fruitless search for my missing Mets hat. One that had been missing for a year.
I love my wife, but she drives me insane.